A year without Dad

Taking a break from my wuxia posts (yes, this blog isn’t only about wuxia and CLH...), I’d like to take this opportunity to remember my father who passed away exactly last year. Tuesday, 25 November 2014 at around 1330 Bali time.

Has it been a year ago that my Dad passed away? It seemed so quick; almost couldn’t believe it. When I told a friend about it today, she asked me what I felt. I searched for the answer... and I found it. I was grateful. I am grateful that Dad is now in a much better state than he was one year ago. I still miss him, of course. I miss his funny comments. I don’t miss the headache he had caused me due to his ignorance... but he regretted those. And I was grateful that he had made peace with himself before he died. It was so graceful the way he left the world... and I couldn’t ask for a better ending.

Eulogy for Dad

I dreamt of my dad two nights ago, or perhaps yesterday morning. Dreams, after all, at times come at the end of our sleep, so that must have been yesterday dawn time...

In my dream, he was at a small warung at Benoa, so happened to be where we scattered his ashes last December. He was smiling at me. He said hi, and his voice was clear to me; it was indeed his voice. His humble voice after understanding his mistakes, after learning more about spirituality. He looked sad, as if he was sad to say goodbye, but he knew he needed to go. He had to go to the other dimension for his growth.

And why did Dad have to go to another dimension? Because he passed away late last year, 25 November 2014 at about 15:30 Queensland time. Yes, it was a difficult time for me... but it was relieving as well, knowing that he is now free from pain. Knowing that he is now in peace, albeit a bit sad to leave me, my sister etc. behind.

I’ve thought about posting a eulogy for him after the cremation, which was conducted in Bali on 3 December 2014. I had planned to read the eulogy to the audience during the cremation. But it never happened; it was not in the Balinese tradition to read a eulogy. Too bad, cos I think it would add a layer of personality to the whole tradition.  Since then, I had been meaning to post my eulogy in my blog. I just never made time. The dream tho, seems to suggest that I really should.

Year End and New Year contemplation

Sunrise in Lovina (pic by myself)

Year 2012 is ending soon, in a little more than 12 hours at our place in Australia. I’ve been pondering how 2012 has been to me, and I think, in all honesty, despite its ups and downs, 2012 has been good to me. It started rough; I had lots of tears and – thus – resolutions this year so that I won’t have to go through those painful experiences anymore. I truly hope 2013 will be better, happier, richer, healthier and sweeter for me – and for us all. 

 

Year 2012 also has many sweet things for me. In addition to realising that I do want to live my life with my partner in Australia, I also sharpened the art of making cupcakes (including the icing), immersed myself in Japanese language through J-doramas, and fell in love with some gorgeous Japanese actors (Okada Masaki! Ikuta Toma! Osamu Mukai!). I made some new friends and rekindled my friendship with my old friends. My dad was ill, and because of that, I somehow got closer to my aunt and also my dear maid who has been helping me so far.  I created my professional cetacean blog and had some good news on the cetacean side of my work. 

I do have some hopes that are not realised yet, hopefully mainly because it is not the time yet. I hope that those dreams of mine will come to fruition before mid 2013. I do have my worries, for those dreams are related to my job and how I can live my life in AU (everything here is more expensive than in Bali!). But just as I was getting worried, I found a passage in a book my friend lent me. The book is titled ‘Ocean of Dharma’ by Chogyam Trungpa. Here, I quote the entire passage for you and me (p 164), in the hope that we will always dare to dream and work to make our dreams come true.

I'm the World today!

So my dearest sister-friend told me this site, and I took the quiz, and...

I'm the Universe today!

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Thanks, Sis!

My icon

I think I will use this picture as my icon now. It's the picture of Goddess Gangga, the caretaker of the Great Gangga River in India. I love her so much, as well as many other goddesses. But because I could not find the picture of Parvati, Tara, Durga, Diana, Gaea or other goddesses that suits the purpose, I will 'use' this one.

As a second thought, I think I will use this 'eye' instead. Clearer. But really, I love Goddess Gangga, so I will just let her be here. The 'eye' is actually a colour-composite of a nebula called 'Helix Nebula'.